Follow the main cinema links for dates, times and matinee screenings.
Follow the title links for movie details, friendship and maybe more.
Red Road (18) Director Andrea Arnold’s newie was hugely acclaimed in Cannes, almost eclipsing her fantastic work in the Saturday morning kids’ show No 73.
Wot no Sandwich Quiz?
Tsai Toi (Shut Up) (15) No, you shut up! Gerard Depardieu and Jean Reno play criminals on the run from the police. Erm, what’s French for ‘seen it all before’?
Snow Cake (15) Sigourney Weaver pretends to be autistic in this heartwarming drama. Of course, she’s an excellent driver, Charlie Babbitt.
The Page Turner (15) We know this has something to do with someone failing a piano audition but that’s as far as we got with the synopsis before zoning out.
Marie Antoinette (12A) Everyone remembers Marie Antoinette’s catchphrase “let them eat cake”, but we prefer her lesser known bon mot “you can shove that guillotine up your ass”.
Kekexili: Mountain Patrol (15) It’s a Tibetan farmer/antelope poacher smackdown!
I Saw Ben Barka Get Killed (12A) This thriller tells the story of an infamous political scandal, mixing historical facts with ‘imaginative speculation’, ie, complete lies.
Pan’s Labyrinth (15) Fairytale for adults from the director of The Devil’s Backbone (let’s not mention Hellboy, shall we?)
The Holiday (12A) Wifeswap chick flick from the person behind What Women Want. You don’t seriously need any more details than that, do you?!
The Devil Wears Prada (PG) Wholesome family flick which boasts the heartwarming message: ‘if your clothes are shit – you’re shit’. Shoulda worn her PRSD T-shirt!
An Inconvenient Truth (U) If you’re after an ‘inconvenient truth’, why not check out Clinton and Gore’s environmental record. People in gas greenhouses shouldn’t throw stones. Hey Rory Bremner, you can have that one for free!
Posted by Thin White Duke