When you think about it, some of the best things in life come in pairs. A solitary shoe isn’t the same on its own, plus there’s the wet sock issue; that depth of vision I get from both eyes can never be understated and I imagine the Bible wouldn’t scan properly if the animals trotted/flew/crawled/slithered etc into The Ark in any other formation.
This brings us neatly to this week’s schedule. Through a combination of other work commitments/season four of The Sopranos on DVD/bone idleness, I was faced with a back-to-back screening. There are always more films to see than I can manage so I pick two. I try to be realistic and watch what I expect most people to be interested in (I did say try).
Then comes the maths part: “If I go and see X at this time, that should give me time to catch Y at such-and-such a time, although I’ll probably miss the trailers, but that would mean I could get a pint in at Tavern Z before last orders.” This deliberation can go on for some time but this week I eventually plumped for Cyrus and Tamara Drewe.
If you’ve never attempted this before there are a few key things to remember. DO eat before you go in, otherwise you can guarantee your stomach will protest loudly during the quiet bits. DON’T sit too close to the screen (I sound like your mother, wash behind your ears while you’re at it) your head will be pounding like you’ve spent the weekend trapped inside Animal from The Muppets drum-kit. ALWAYS get the film order the right way round – see the one you really want to watch last. If you don’t dangle that carrot in front of your subconscious, you’ll never make it.
Following these simple rules made the evening a delight. I was a little put off by Cyrus’ strange balance of humour and drama at first, but ultimately found it refreshing. Rounded off nicely by a good old fashioned yomp in the English countryside with Tamara Drewe, reminding me once again how proud I am to possess a British sense of humour and how much I love our colourful oaths.
The only thing left to do now is seek out that other glorious duo – the double espresso.